you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize