i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
