that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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