apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My feet surprised me
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
