So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
