drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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