how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
