imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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