Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
