I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize