am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
