last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
