Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So much rum. So many feels.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
