So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
