There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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