As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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