Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
