Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
