If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Operation Purity has been aborted
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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