i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
