Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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