Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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