Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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