last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize