I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
