Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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