all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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