She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
