you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
