Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
