Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
