Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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