i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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