Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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