The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
