He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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