I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
