She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
