I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Use "feeling words"
Yay
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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