Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
