i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize