dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
