Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
