I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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