She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
