Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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