I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My breasts were aching with rage.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize