We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
