She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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