Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
