why didn't you poke me back
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
