Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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