fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
