Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize