Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
