I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
