so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
