I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
