Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
