His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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