it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
