Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
smell my finger.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
