I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
