I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
